How to celebrate the Buddha's birthday

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
- President Nelson Mandela, in his inauguration speech (quoting Marianne Williamson)

Minor enlightenment - the view from the back deck

I've spent this weekend at my brother's place in Cambridge, Canada taking some time out of a hectic travel schedule. Today while we had a BBQ I sat on the back deck in the late spring sunshine and listened to the radio. I noticed that every song crooned about how happiness is found, lost, or lost then found again in the form of another person.

Songs with lyrics like I can see forever in your eyes and Everybody wants to know they're not alone and You're everything I need repeatedly made the point: we're all incomplete as we are and need someone else to "make us whole". In fact the only song that didn't offer solace and happiness in external sources pleaded Chuck me in the shallow water before I get too deep...

Now perhaps I'm insufficiently taking on board the warning offered by that last chorus, but I'd like to offer an interesting point of contrast.

Happy Birthday Buddha

This weekend in east Asia is the date when the Buddha's birthday is celebrated in 2009.

About 2400 years ago (give or take a few decades) Siddhattha Gotama was born and was destined to live the luxourious life accorded him as prince of his people.

Various accounts suggest that he had his fill of earthly pleasures and was certainly shielded from the harsh realities of the world by his protective father the king.

Perhaps he became tired of a life in which his every material was fulfilled, perhaps his pampered upbringing resulted in greater shock when he was finally confronted with the realities of illness, old age and death - whatever the combination of factors, the rest of his story is well known.

He escaped the palace, lived an ascetic life in his quest for Truth and, after long meditation under the Bodhi Tree, he achieved Enlightenment.

Am I suggesting this is the path for everyone to take and that Enlightenment should be your single and only goal? Not exactly. Let me share with you the insight I had while sitting on the deck today.

What if I told you that you were inadequate?

If I told you that you were incomplete, inadequate, and in need of propping up in order to function in life and be a whole person...well, you might justifiably have a variety of responses to offer me - and I bet none of them would be very pleasant!

Yet we are continually bombarded with these very messages - you are incomplete until you have the product or person that will help make you complete - not just in the lyrics of pop songs but throughout the media and marketing machines that surround us every waking hour.

What these messages represent is a superficial answer to a deep and fundamental truth about human beings, namely: we are all born whole and complete, then in the course of our early life development and interaction with the world we learn to devalue or disown those parts of ourselves that don't seem to "fit in" or fail to get us what we want.

Each of us is like a complete picture which then has a few puzzle pieces removed. It's important to remember, however, that those pieces don't go away forever; they're still within our reach. Sitting under his tree, the Buddha realized this fundamental Truth: we are all complete just as we are and have access to all the means we require to take care of ourselves.

Through the effective application of what Buddhists call the Middle Way, we can steer our lives along a path of moderation away from the extremes of self-indulgence and self-mortification. 

What that means is: rather than cloistering yourself up to gain spiritual awareness, you can still hold down a job and function in the world - though by paying some attention to certain fundamental questions, and by rejecting as false the empty lyrics and marketing messages preaching your inadequacy, you can find a path leading to greater personal satisfaction, happiness and achievement of what's important to you.

Turning the Middle Way into the everyday

Practically speaking, in my work I frequently help people in all kinds of fields to dissolve the crises and tensions that arise from this constantly-reinforced message that they are not OK as they are. I do this, I hasten to add, not by fostering dependency on me as yet another external "quick-fix" but by enabling them to locate those helpful energies and resources that already exist within them. In this way they can continue their own personal journey long after our work together has tapered off or ended entirely.

So think about how you will choose to celebrate the birthday of this extraordinary individual, the Buddha, not just this weekend but in the days and weeks to come as you continue your own life's journey. And remember: you already have within you everything it takes to be just as extraordinary, if you'll just let yourself be so.

With apologies to the pop music industry, I'd suggest that learning to dance to your own tune may change the course of your whole life for the better. It will help you to engage with others not in a needy and dependent "please complete me!" way but as a productive and independent person who's capable of entering and sustaining an equitable relationship for the long term. Worth thinking over, under a tree or by the BBQ on the back deck...
TM

Movement, meditation and "Conversion" of problems into nobility

Part of the richness of the English language is that we can have equally compelling sayings which advocate opposite forms of behaviour. Consider:

ACTION
Fortune favours the bold.
He who hesitates is lost.

CONSIDERATION
Look before you leap.
Measure twice, cut once.

A short article appeared recently on the Sydney Morning Herald's "Enterprise" blog that stated: "When it comes to making decisions in business, motion is better than meditation."

My take on the author's position is that, essentially, action is better than inaction and getting stuff done accomplishes more then procrastination - which seems quite straightforward and sensible, rather like the "Action" proverbs offered above.

I think, however, that meditation is here miscast in the role of inactivity or of simply putting things off.

To this I would have to argue, in line with the "Consideration" sayings also listed above, that without reflection one risks action for action's sake and going off half-cocked all the time with a trail of destruction left in one's wake.

Then again...self-indulgent navel-gazing doesn't get you any closer to where you want to be either.

So, how to strike the balance?


Conversion

One possible answer is provided by the process of Conversion (as detailed in Section Four of the NeuroPower handbook, written by author and strategist Peter Burow).

The process, briefly stated, is a powerful yet elegant means of converting problems into opportunities for growth, development, insight and even nobility.

It's something that you can learn to do for yourself and which also works very effectively as part of a coaching process to help resolve thorny issues and get past deadlocked situations.

Here's how it works.

When confronted with problems, there are various tensions at play which serve to keep us stuck and temporarily unable to see the solution.

(Note that this approach presumes that a solution exists, that we already know it in some form, and are simply unable to access that knowledge and wisdom in our current "stuck" state.)

Confronted with these tensions, we have a choice. We can hold the tension and use it to resolve the problem, or we can collapse into one of the fight-flight-freeze modes of our Core Belief Types as a means of avoiding the issue. Some signs that we have collapsed are when we:

• continue to be stuck in the problem (that is, remain unable to access the solution)
• experience strong, sometimes overwhelming sensations of anger, hurt or fear
• tend to blame other people or external circumstances for our plight, unwilling to take responsibility ourselves
• over-identify ourselves with the problem, merging with it so that it is an integral part of our self-understanding; this ensures the problem will remain unsolvable because to solve the problem would be to give up a part of our own identity
  

Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them. - Albert Einstein


Find the level of thinking

Once we are aware that the problem exists externally to ourselves but is producing internal tensions, and that these tensions are subject to our influence, we then need to know in what level of thinking the problem sits so that we can rise above it to find the solution.

To begin, we identify whether the problem has to do with either:

personal agency (the drive towards autonomy, desire for independence and the will to preserve oneself in the face of a hostile environment), or
communion (the drive to be part of a larger whole, for interdependence, bonding to or relating with another).

Examples of agency include personal identity and self-expression, or personal success.

Examples of communion include collective survival of one's own family/tribe/community, finding a sense of purpose/destiny located in the greater good, or gaining a sense of communal connection and egalitarianism.

Find the internal tensions

The level of the problem thus established, we return to the internal tensions to determine the nature of the problem. To effectively triangulate the nature of the problem we need to know the following:

1) Is this something that has to do with me as an individual and what I want to do/have/be (my own performance, priorities, achievement, success, values, beliefs and the results I want), or with my place in relation to the group/collective/system (family, colleagues, sequential processes)

2) Does this problem concern subjective reality (interior dimensions of intuition, feelings, emotions), or has it more to do with objective reality (exterior data and facts)?

With one answer for each of these, we know in which quadrant* the problems falls, giving us insight into its nature. The tensions thus identified, we are one step closer to finding our solution.


Apply creativity

Carl Jung tells us that creativity gives the opportunity for the individual to reach a new level of consciousness - which is a way of saying: we rise above the problem to a higher level than the one that produced the problem, thereby addressing Einstein's dilemma.

Once these dimensions are clarified, it then becomes a question of what form of creative thinking (visionary or spontaneous) we need to apply in order to find a resolution to the tensions at play:

Is it something that we want to think through and come up with a solution on our own (meditation, in a sense) or do we want to talk it through with others and find a solution interactively (motion and activity)?

And so we've come full circle to our original debate of whether motion really is better then meditation when making business (or any other) decisions. The answer is: it depends on the nature of the problem that the decision seeks to address.

To recap the Conversion process:

1. Find the (external) problem's level of thinking
2. Identify the internal tensions being produced by the problem: individual vs collective, interior vs exterior
3. Apply creativity (visionary or spontaneous) to the problem
4. Identify the noble quality needed to rise above the problem and access its solution
   

Noble qualities are portals of insight into our own knowledge and wisdom

"So what's this noble quality business?!" I can hear you exclaim.

Well once we've effectively triangulated the level and nature of the problem and decided which creativity is required, we now have the coordinates we need. Using the NeuroPower framework, we can now locate the exact noble quality that will dissolve the tension and solve the problem. A few examples of noble qualities that can be usefully applied to problems (there are 54 in all) include integrity, inspiration, diplomacy, courage, discernment, responsibility, objectivity and drive.

Once we can see beyond the tension of the polarities that are pulling us back and forth (a duel of dualism, if you will) and have gotten above and outside it, we are then able to delve deep into our own character and access a deeper wisdom than what's available in our everyday life.

From this vantage point, it's like viewing the problem through a portal of wisdom and insight - one that rewards us with both a set of actions to take and the energy to carry those actions through, without procrastination or prolonged inactivity.

So while all this talk of nobility, character and wisdom and the like might seem quite esoteric and mystical...the fact is that in my experience and that of the people I've worked with, the Conversion process produces real, practical solutions to really thorny and seemingly intractable problems.

That's because, although noble qualities like integrity, inspiration, diplomacy, courage, discernment, responsibility and others may seem at first glance to be too generic to be helpful, the Conversion process is about finding the exact noble quality that will make sense to the person stuck in the problem and help them get above it, to a place where its solution becomes apparent.

And when it comes to making business decisions - that's what it's all about.
TM



*-Note that this lines up with the four quadrants of Ken Wilber's Four Faces of Truth, defined by the polarities "individual vs collective" and "interior vs exterior".

Give the gift of change this year

The holiday season is fast approaching!

Depending on your global orientation that may mean snuggling up by the fire as the snow falls outside or, as here in Australia where it's Christmas in summertime, heading down to the beach.

Either way, odds are that you face that annual dilemma: "what presents should I get everyone...?!"

If you're reading this blog, you're doing pretty well. No, I don't mean you have impeccable taste in your consumption of online content (clearly that's a given). What I mean is you're literate in both words and technology, you've got yourself in front of a computer and chances are you may even be sipping a tasty beverage as you ponder my musings.


Give the gift of change

So really, most of us have it really good. But in this season of giving, rather than sending people more stuff they don't need, why not give a gift that'll make a change for the better? The fantastic Oxfam Unwrapped online giftshops make it easy to give gifts that make a difference. A regional online shop isavailable in each of over a dozen countries worldwide including Australia, Canada, the UK, Hong Kong and Germany.

A couple of other worthwhile causes are can be found at the Support UNICEF worldwide site and of course for our furry friends there's the RSPCA (or the local version in your country).

So what's the brain angle on all this? Two things: studies show that the more people participate in meaningful activities, the happier they are and the more purposeful their lives feel, while pure pleasure-seeking behaviours (like stuffing yourself with food at the Xmas dinner table) actually do not contribute to overall lasting happiness. And when Buddhist monks meditate with a focus on compassionate and postive feelings toward others, the same centres of the brain light up as do when people experience happiness.

Bottom line: you feel good, doing good.

This year do some good for the yourself and the world...and give Santa the day off - you know he'd love it down the beach!

Photo credit: Ken Duncan (visit his site)

Happy holidays, let's do something great and change the world for the better.
TM