Hello Movember, meet "Grovember" - How expressing Gratitude can change your life

As a useful complement to Movember, I suggest the practice of "Grovember" - using November to establish your daily habit of expressing Gratitude. By introducing a bias towards the positive and focusing on what you DO want (rather than lamenting what you don't want), you can break the downward spiral of depression and positively influence your thinking in ways that can dramatically improve the enjoyment of life and increase your levels of happiness.

We're now in Movember (the month formerly known as November) when many men grow a moustache to raise funds and awareness on two biggest health issues men face: prostate cancer and depression.

The overall intent is to work to change established habits and attitudes men have about their health, to educate men about the health risks they face, get them to act on that knowledge and increase the chances of early detection, diagnosis and effective treatment.

This year for the first time I'm having a go and raising money for charity in memory of my brother Jim, who died this year and who often suffered from bouts of deep depression.

Raising awareness of organizations (like Beyond Blue and Mensline in Australia) that exist to help men combat depression is important work. I think it's also important to offer men the tools for a bit of self-help DIY. That's what this post is about.

How you can combat depression - and live the best life you can!

A really effective way to combat depression, and to shift your state of mind in general for the better, is to cultivate an "attitude of gratitude"

One specific practice is to intentionally and regularly record positive appreciation in a Gratitude Journal. Here's how it works:

You write down five (or more) things every day that you are grateful for

That's it.

Even Don kept a journal!

Don't be fooled! Though simple, the practice it is a surprisingly powerful way both to get out of negative/depressed states of mind and to positively influence your thinking in ways that improve your enjoyment of life.

Depression is often the result of a pervasive, circular pattern of negative thoughts. Keeping a gratitude journal breaks that pattern and re-programs your mind to think more positively.

By regularly noticing and recording things for which you're grateful, you train your brain to focus on things you like about your life (and want to have in it) rather than the things you don’t. This simple practice, done consistently, can improve your whole perspective on life.

In her book The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want, University of California professor Sonja Lyubomirsky praises the practice of writing a Gratitude Journal as a good way to increase your level of happiness. In a nutshell, her research has found that "truly happy individuals construe life events and daily situations in ways that seem to maintain their happiness, while unhappy individuals construe experiences in ways that seem to reinforce unhappiness."

In other words, as Lincoln said:

"People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." 

Have a Go!
And so as well as taking part in Movember, I've started keeping a regular Gratitude Journal this month. What you write down doesn't have to be huge or mind-blowing. It might not matter to anyone but you. For example, my entries for today included:

1) taking time this morning to tend to the plants on the balcony and in the flat - gives me a sense of nurturance and feeling "grounded"
2) hearing about NaNoWriMo - feel inspired about doing more writing and like the idea as a way to increase connection with others while pursuing an inherently solitary activity
3) I like that I can get Dutch goodies like speculaas, hagelslag and honingkoek in Oz - yum! (feeding belly & soul, "ethnic" food)
4) liked reading the positive inspirational quotes that come through daily on my facebook page
5) enjoyed sitting on balcony this AM eating breakfast with the springtime Sydney sunshine on my face, a full day of coaching, meeting people and writing ahead of me, and an early surf session with some mates set up for tomorrow morning

You can write things in the AM - including things you're looking forward to with the clarity of mind that comes after a good sleep, or in the PM - recording what you've appreciated about the day and to symbolically end your day, heading off to sleep with a positive frame of mind. For my part, I'm doing both as I like the idea of having a morning-and-evening ritual.

Start your journal writing today, whether it's at the start or end of the day, or both!
Continue the daily habit of expressing Gratitude consistently through November and I bet you'll notice a difference in your life. Think of it as your own personal "Grovember". It's a practical habit that, as you have learned, can profoundly change your life. Who knows, maybe it'd be better to call it GROW-vember!

Finally, if you've found this post at all helpful then I'd love you to support my Movember fundraising efforts. All amounts are appreciated as every little bit helps. Remember, anything over $2 is tax-deductible.

The view from 4 years on - tmc blog's birthday

Four years ago I penned my first post to launch both this blog and my journey here in Australia, re-establishing the consulting business I'd successfully run in London and before that in Montreal.

I'm very grateful that during the past four years I've had the chance to work with some great companies, make so many connections with terrific people, learn a lot and spread the word about how bringing out the best in your people produces better results, faster, with longer-lasting impact.

Who knows what the next four years will have in store... for the moment, to mark this anniversary I'll be diving into the archives over the next few weeks to find some of the best and well-discussed posts, which I'll repost with updated content and insights.

I'll also begin sharing details of the project that I'll launch in 2012 to increasingly be the vehicle for my work, building a community and a movement around the concept of promoting Positive Change.

So as usual, watch this space - to make that a little easier, subscribe to this blog! Just enter your email address in the "Get blog updates sent to your email" box in the top-right side of this page, Or, you can click on the "Get blog updates by RSS feed" button (Wondering how RSS works? Watch this video.) That way you can be sure to hear about upcoming posts as they're published. 

New Year, New Beginnings...

How was your 2010? In what ways did you finish strong, and what are you looking forward to in the New Year...? Here is a quick update and a preview of what's in store at tmc for 2011 - enjoy!

The sands of time - Aussie style

My first tweet of the year (expanded here for readability):

"In 2011 I'll: build a community, ask for help, surf!!, write my book, start a company, care for family (&myself), help charities, travel, have more fun!"

As with most of us, I could easily expand that list to include many more New Year's resolutions...writing more regular blog posts being one that comes readily to mind. So I thought I'd knock that one over right away.

Planting the seeds for Positive Change

Build a community - this one's been a while in coming, largely because I've been too chicken to commit and get the ball rolling. Thing is...it's not about me, so I should get the hell outta the way. I reckon the world needs - and people want - more chances to bring good things into their lives. So while I've been talking about it for a while now and even blogging about the idea, watch for the Positive Change movement to become reality this year. All are welcome in what I hope will become a community much bigger than the sum of its parts and last a lot longer than any of us imagine, which leads to...

Ask for help - a hard-won insight gained this year is that I'm notoriously, shockingly bad at asking people to help me. There's no explanation or good reason for it. The net result is that I think I need to do it all myself; the harsh reality is...I can't. I've got so many terrific people in my world, it'd be stupid not to ask for their help, involvement, ideas and creativity. After all, if they asked and I was in the position to do so I'd happily help them out; this year it's time that I extend to them that same assumption of good intentions and be willing to accept the help of others.

Manly Beach surf break on a glorious January morning

Surf!! - Having grown up in landlocked dairy-farming country in Canada, I got a really late start on surfing. I only bought my first board on my birthday in March 2008. Since then I've done my best to make up for lost time and during this Xmas/New Year's break I've spent nearly every day surfing at my local break on Manly Beach. I always feel great after a surf, even if the swell is tiny or I've had a couple truly epic wipe-outs. 

Making a serious go of it this year means not just getting wet, but paying attention to my fitness, diet and managing the general aches and pains associated with being a 40-year-old surfer-dude. Beyond the purely physical component, as I wrote back in 2008, there's more to surfing than the sea, the sun and the stoke. Reading Shaun Tomson's excellent book The Surfer's Code on the beach this holiday reinforced that insight...and I will keep it alive this year by honouring the Code (see here for a summary) and getting more involved in my local surf community, especially the Sydney Surf Group (take note, Mark, Miki & co...see you in the lineup!).

Gaining inspiration...

Write my book - what this really means is do more writing in general. Business and personal matters took my focus away from this blog over the past two months and I've felt the absence. When I don't write my head fills up with an excess of unprocessed stuff. I don't know if this will make sense but in some ways I think it gums up the gears...and may even make me dumber!

When I write, I think things through, make connections and sharpen my perspective. I also love the act of crafting words to express ideas in ways that are both meaningful and memorable - and hopefully that are useful to my readers as well as giving needed focus to my work efforts (as I did with last year's white paper "It's not Business. It's Personal" - People Engagment that works). I want my book to be a longer version of that kind of work, to string together my thoughts, connections and ideas with a central theme and a practical focus. Rather than a book-as-vanity-project, an object to flog at work and speaking events, I want my book to make a difference in the world and to people's lives, helping them to realize their longstanding goals and dreams.

Today Austral-Asia...

Start a company - I've learned a lot over the past two years about what works and what doesn't in creating viable partnerships and joint-ventures. The greatest lesson from this informal MBA at the "school of hard knocks" has been two-fold: trust my gut and combine positive expectation with eyes-wide-open realism about what a given situation can and cannot offer. This year I'll apply that learning to launch a new international venture. I hope it affords new opportunities to collaborate with some of the talented people I've met over the past few years, and opens doors to work with new people in 2011 as well. More details to come, so watch this space...

Birthday dinner with my brother Trent

Care for family (& myself) - speaking of partnerships and good relationships, I was particularly fortunate during 2010 in (re)connecting with family. My brother Trent made the trek from Canada to Oz and I had a great time celebrating my milestone birthday together with him. I'm proud of the progress my brother Jim has made in successfully rebuilding lots of broken bridges and we've had many long and enjoyable conversations as a result. Other family connections have been more challenging and I continue to learn lessons from the work that goes into making them a success. Here I've discovered a paradox: it's never too late to reconcile, but it pays to take action sooner rather than later because life is too short to waste valuable time doing what you know doesn't work. I will extend more care both to family members and to myself this year, as I've been guilty of taking many things for granted that are in fact very fragile and require care and attention.

They need our help!

Help charities - In 2009 my company tmc made donations to several charities as part of a 1% for the planet commitment and I personally raised over $1,300 in support of the WSPA by participating in Sydney's annual City2Surf 14km race. In 2010 my activities were more modest in scale (primarily raising funds and awareness in support of the Save the Koala campaign). For 2011 I want to exceed 2009's contributions; besides my own efforts I want to kick things up a notch by reinstating my Save-the-world Sunday (STWS) series of posts to help raise awareness of what others can do to help out as well. Look for tomorrow's inaugural STWS post for more details of what I have in mind for 2011.

"Should I stay or should I go now...?"

Travel -This has been the easiest one to say and the hardest one to write about. Without doubt I'll travel a lot this year, as I have done in recent years. I love to travel and relish the variety and novelty of experience that each new journey offers; at the same time I long for constancy and the security that comes from a sense of belonging in a particular place. This tension of variety/constancy is common to many people and we must each find the balance that works for us. For my part this year I want to be intentional, not only about where my choices place me on the variety/constancy spectrum, but about fully enjoying what each experience has to offer. In the words of poet Percy Bysshe Shelley: "The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance. The wise man grows it under his feet." Which brings me to my final resolution...

Trying on a new look... :-)

Have more fun! - OK so, who doesn't want more fun, right? Well, for me this one means a couple of things: being present and enjoying the moment (rather than dwelling on what's coming up or regretting what's passed); being playful rather than serious; most of all, daring to be myself. I once heard (can't recall where) the saying, "If you want to be happy in life, learn to care a lot less what other people think." This is a tough one for me, but like a coach of mine said, "To succeed in life, do what you're most afraid of doing." 

So to sum up this year's biggest resolution in the words of the immortal entertainer Sammy Davis Jr., "I gotta be me...I can't be right for somebody else if I'm not right for me."

What's working well? How to finish strong in 2010!

September is upon us - a good time of year to pause and reflect. Below are some ideas on how you can build on the best of what you've done so far this year and finish strong in 2010.

Let me start by extending a special warm welcome to recent email subscribers to the blog feed (if you're not yet a subscriber, you can get posts from the tmc blog sent to you automatically, just go to the top-right side of this page and enter your email address under Get blog updates sent to your email or, if you prefer, click on the Get blog updates by RSS feed button).

Wow, how time passes! It's been weeks since my last post. I found myself getting agitated, about to give myself a bit of a kicking for not writing as often as I wanted to. Then I thought, "Well, that's pretty pointless now, isn't it? What would work better?" ...and so I gained the inspiration for today's post.

How's your 2010 shaping up? 

Here we are entering the final third of the year...

Yes, September: in the northern half of the world it's back-to-school time, meanwhile for those of us in the south it's spring and our thoughts are turning to how much work needs to get done before we can spend a few well-deserved summer days down at the beach!

Either way, it's a good time to take a moment and think about what you want from the rest of this year, and how you will make it happen... 


Here's a three-step activity that in just 15 minutes will help you recharge your batteries and be ready to tear into 2011...

Try the September Summary - A 15-min thought-game...

Take a piece of paper and pen and have a go with this thought-game:

1. Looking back over 2010 so far, list three things that went really well - accomplishments or actions that you're particularly happy about, proud of, or that bring a smile to your face. (If you find yourself focusing exclusively on work-related things, remember to include non-work stuff too!)
   
2. Now for each of these, list the skills, talents, resources and abilities that helped you to make these things happen. Write down as many of these as you can think of, as you reflect on what you did that worked really well to make your three things happen. (You can also write down the names of other people who played a part in these achievements, just make sure that you clearly identify the things that you did in particular to make it happen.)
   
3. Finally, think of as many ways as you can of how you will apply these skills, talents, resources and abilities to accomplish the things you want to do over the next 4 months (and on into 2011). This must include a few small, concrete actions that you want to take - but don't stop there! Other ideas might be: conversations with some of the people you identified in the previous step (for example, to say thanks for their help and point out what you appreciated about the part they played), new challenges that you'd like to undertake with "year end 2010" as a deadline, or anything else that comes into your head. 

List, sketch, doodle, mindmap, write poems, whatever you like. For the final step, set yourself the goal of a minimum 10 ideas/actions and see how many more you can do than that (20+ is not unusual...remember that when each one is a manageable size they're MUCH more likely to actually happen).

Finally, be sure to share your comments below about what you enjoyed, discovered, were surprised by, or found useful in this little thought-game.

Happy September and enjoy the rest of the ride in 2010!

Positive People Engagement - Australian workshop series

I'm happy to announce a series of practical 2-day workshops that will cover the "how-to" of Employee Engagement. If Positive People Engagement is a focus for you and your organization, this is the workshop to attend in 2010. Read on to find out how to claim your 10% discount off the registration cost!

The workshops are happening across Australia in the second half of August on the following dates and locations: Sydney on 16-17, Melbourne on 19-20, Perth on 23-24 and Brisbane on 26-27.

With the help of these informative and hands-on sessions you'll:

1.     Understand how to transform strategy into action and results
2.     Learn how to engage people before, during, after major change initiative
3.     Bring onboard and integrate new hires for faster and high productivity
4.     Gain the elusive "discretionary input" secret
5.     Outline what is "most critical" to engage and retain employees
6.     Link your brand with specific engagement objectives
7.     Use storytelling to engage your staff
8.     Energise and involve senior management in your engagement efforts

Check out the full course program.

Call 02 9085 7456 to register or click on the links for the city nearest you provided above.

And remember: to claim your 10% discount mention this blog post when you register.

How to promote Positive CHANGE

In which your Author makes an impassioned Plea to help people to promote Positive CHANGE and end the trauma-inducing, ineffective practices of traditional "change management".

Change is a funny thing

It's happening all the time, all around us.

The desire to change things for the better awakens creativity and innovation. It inspires and dazzles and delights and stimulates progress, evolution, learning and development.

So how did change become such a traumatic experience for so many people?

In many organizations, "change management" practices often do far more harm than good as they:

• cause chaos and reduce productivity without getting the desired results
• provoke powerful emotions ("resistance") that are not channeled into useful outcomes
• get only short-term compliance and lip-service but not enduring meaningful change
• use jargon-filled, confusing messages that aren't matched by real action
• concentrate on what's wrong, broken, deficient and the obstacles, barriers, problems
• rely on grand change plans that look great on paper but don't account for real people

So what if, instead of these unrealistic and trauma-inducing change practices, there was another way?

Positive CHANGE

In order to make constructive progress towards an outcome that you have identified and want to achieve, it makes good sense to follow the path of least resistance and greatest efficacy. That involves thinking about change in a different way.

Choose positive over negative
Highlight what's better, use what's working
Appreciate differences
Nothing happens 'til the ball is in play
Generate possibilities
Everyday language

Choose positive over negative 
Quite simply: given a certain amount of time available, you are much likely to move closer to your desired outcome if you spend more time discussing what you want than what you don’t want. You have a choice where you put your focus, so focus on what's working (instead of what isn’t) progress (not blame), influence (not control), collaboration (not expert input), resources (not deficits), simplicity (not complication) and practical actions (not problem-definitions).

Highlight what's better, use what's working
Often solutions are right there in front of you, if you only have eyes to see them. Notice the times when things had happened a little better - after all, it makes no sense to focus on what’s absent! Having a “use what's working” attitude means finding what's working well and doing more of it. By default, that gives less energy to the things that aren't working well and moves you more quickly toward positive outcomes.

Appreciate differences 
Every new situation is different - beware of ill-fitting theory, don’t come to the party with preconceived notions, instead ask about things that helped in this case and encourage people to do more of that. Also, when tracking progress use the questions “What’s better? What do you notice that's different from last time?" and help make needed course-corrections by asking "What will you do differently next time to get closer to your goal?”

Nothing happens 'til the ball is in play
Whenever people come together to effect change, the real action is in the interaction. It's like a game of tennis - each player has a game-plan in mind, but nothing interesting happens ‘til the ball’s in play - and no one could have predicted what direction things take from there. By addressing the interaction, we avoid focus on which side is the cause, or who is to blame, and instead make good use of the change that's already taking place. People are co-constructing their experience, all day, every day. They are creating all kinds of great things between them - how can you help by collaborating and drawing attention to the ways they do it?

Generate possibilities (past, present and future) 
We often think of possibilities only in terms of the future, what about possibilities based on the best of what’s happened in the past and right now, today?

Everyday language
Notice what words are used and how, prefer simple words to avoid misunderstanding

The difference that makes a difference

When you adopt a Positive CHANGE mentality, lots of great things happen.

You find yourself interacting better with other people and can often influence situations more effectively. Conversations lead to progress instead of awkward dead-ends. You're able to have difficult conversations with confidence and resolve differences more successfully. Things that used to trigger your knee-jerk emotional reactions can be put into perspective when you simply ask yourself, "if my objective is positive change, what's the smart move here...?"


So, what's your next smart move? To be sure you hear about the next post in this series on change, click on the "Get blog updates by RSS feed" button or enter your email address in the "Get blog updates sent to your email" box in the top-right side of this page. (Wondering how RSS works? Watch this video.)

Technology as a loudspeaker - what are you broadcasting?

Technology is a terrific enabler and accelerator of organizational processes, but it's not a cure-all. Read on to explore the nexus where technology overlaps human behaviour and interaction; learn why it's important to know what message your technology is broadcasting - both to your employees and to your clients!


In April I was invited to a seminar in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia on the uses of technology in higher education and corporate training.

Among other tech companies and educational institutions, Microsoft was on hand to showcase Surface, its "social way of computing," as envisioned for university campuses and business meetings of the future.

In this idealized future, businesspeople easily find and exchange information with world-wide colleagues and their road-warrior lives are made easier with access to timely information on hand-held devices that speeds them along to fruitful and interactive meetings.

It was pretty slick stuff: technology enabling a whole new way of doing business and, as you'd expect given the theme of the conference, there was a lot of enthusiasm and buzz in the room.

As human behaviour specialist, I was left wondering how these admittedly snazzy tech-tools would help you to deal more effectively with colleague who's just off a red-eye flight filled with screaming kids and has spilled coffee on herself in the taxi ride from the airport.

Or how those gizmos would help to effectively manage interpersonal conflict that might arise in one of these tech-enabled meetings...quite possibly with the frazzled and overtired colleague just described!

Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose...

The more (and faster) technology changes, the more human behaviour remains stubbournly the same - complex, unpredictable and non-linear.

Now don't get me wrong: I love my gadgets as much as the next guy and technology is a great aid to our working lives. It's in the nexus where technology overlaps human behaviour and interaction, however, where we can clearly see that technology's role as an enabler and accelerator of what's already happening in the organization (you can even say it's also an amplifier) is not as straightforward as some tech-enthusiasts may believe.

For example, if you've been in meetings that look a bit like this unfortunate group - where people aren't engaged, there's an atmosphere of negative interaction and conflict, and a people manager who fundamentally can't manage people - then it's probably clear to you that no amount of technology is going to improve the situation.

Putting touch-screen computers into this meeting will not magically transform it into a smoothly-functioning team. Quite the opposite, in fact: in dysfunctional organizational cultures, technology is more likely to give people more tools to extend unhelpful behaviours and disengagement to a much wider audience, even faster (email flame wars, anyone...? or text messages that read: "PLEASE get me outta here! :-( MeetingFAIL!!!").

Technology as enable/accelerator/amplifier (or, behavioural loudspeaker) 

If you remember the classic technology equation (Garbage In = Garbage Out) and then factor in technology's role as enabler/accelerator/amplifier, it's clear that technology most often functions as a loudspeaker to surface dodgy behaviours in an organization. Technology therefore cannot be the quick-fix panacea to address unhelpful behaviours, because they aren't technology problems - they're management problems, and they need management solutions.

This fact about technology helps explain why some leaders are so resistant to introducing social media tools - because amplifying the kind of talk that happens in a toxic corporate culture will most likely serve to  increase dissastisfaction (and staff turnover), to undermine the command-and-control structure typical of such organizations...or quite possibly a combination of both.

So I would argue that our awareness of the kinds of behaviour being enabled/accelerated/amplified with technology (social media or otherwise) needs to at least keep up with the pace of technological change. And in many organizations that's going to be a pretty steep learning curve.

When it comes to awareness of human behaviour dynamics and taking practical action to create Positive Change, we can't release a new patch or upgrade each year, it's an ongoing effort. Thankfully it's the same complexity and unpredictability of people that also makes us hugely creative and adaptable - and that's very good news indeed for those looking to create Positive Change.

Some questions remain - what do you think?

My next post will tell you more about what Positive CHANGE looks like and how it can help shape behaviour and interactions in your organization. The end result is certainly worth the effort: effective teams that can take adversity in stride and maintain a positive focus on contribution and results.

Other interesting questions remain: in what ways could technology actually expand and deepen our perspectives on human behaviour so we interact and engage with each other more effectively? Beyond being simply an enabler and accelerator, can technology serve to positively shape human behaviour and interactions...?

I look forward to discussing these questions and more at next week's instance of another technology-in-business conference: Melcrum's Social Media conference in North Sydney. See you there!